What is a friend?

'A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you today just the way you are.'

I'm not sure who said this, maybe lots of people have.  For me though, it sums up the friendships I have in my life right now.  What I also like about this quote is that it applies to family members who are friends too.  My brother's wife for example, is not just my sister in law, she is a brilliant, wonderful and giving friend.  Yes, she lives too far away to have an occasional hug with or nip round for a glass of wine or a baking masterclass but thanks to modern technology we are in touch all the time and we understand each other's needs as friends as well as family.  I hope she realises what a terrific friend she has been to me.   

I haven't always been lucky enough to have strong friendships with people that I have just met along the way, especially in the early days of marriage.  However, in making my own way in life without outside influence I have somehow managed to be blessed with an abundance of wonderful friends.  Without these girls the trials that life brings would have been harder to deal with and joyful moments would have been less celebrated.

Let's not forget men in this too.  My very best friend is OH (Other Half) who unstintingly supports me in everything I do.  We are completely in tune with one another and I know that I am his best friend too.  Before I met OH I had several male friends, one of whom I remain in touch with.  He lives on the other side of the world and is a complete inspiration.  A man who has made a massive success of his personal and professional life, despite a tricky start in life.  In the early days of my traumatic marriage break up he was there with unswerving support and advice from the male perspective.  We don't speak much but I know he's there.

As I bounced from one job to another in the same organisation over 20 years, I managed to collect a veritable bouquet of friends.  When my boys were young they used to sing a song at school 'Friends are like flowers, beautiful flowers, friends are like flowers in the garden of life'. My place of work was the garden and the girls I worked with, the flowers.  Towards the end of my time there, we friends went through some incredibly tough times, with redundancies on the cards and a constantly changing working landscape.  It was tough but we got each other through it.  Tonight sees a reunion of some of those girls.  I can't wait to see them, to find out whether life has been kind to them, to laugh, to commiserate and to just be there.  We will eat, drink and no doubt be merry.

Speaking of eating, drinking and being merry brings me nicely to a group of girls I wouldn't be without.  Each of them is different, unique and special.  Each of them brings something different to the group.  These are my old school friends.  It has been 30 years since some of us left school, 28 for others.  The interesting thing for me is that I was never especially close to any of them at school but over the years we have remained in touch one way or another.  Whenever we get together, we seem to do everything to excess.  We talk over each other, we break off into pairs and have separate conversations, the volume is always exceptionally loud, we drink too much, eat too much, stay up too late and laugh until our faces ache.  We know we can share anything with each other and we do - often!  We offer up advice, we share our opinions, we laugh together and we cry together.  And then we leave, we go about our normal lives only to re-convene weeks later and do it all again.  It really is very special and the quote definitely fits. 'A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you today just the way you are.'  

Enjoy your friends people, mine keep me sane, without them I would be a jibbering wreck, rocking in the corner of an attractively padded room!

Have a mighty fine Bank Holiday weekend, enjoy the sunshine (cough, cough) and be happy.

Blog you later, Julesy x